Servant

I’m not a regular church-goer. That should explain why I don’t know any church songs other than “Our Father” and “Kordero ng Diyos.” My Sundays are spent at work. If I am free on a Sunday, I would be asleep, or switching between Showbiz Central and The Buzz, or out for groceries or coffee.

I am Catholic. My grandparents are devout Catholics. My parents, though big sinners, are Catholic nonetheless. I went to schools named after saints and the Holy Mary, but I’m the worst Catholic school girl, I can’t even lip sync to church hymns.

Yesterday, I missed out on the regular Sunday mass, but after some last minute Christmas shopping, I was able to attend the 6th of the Simbang Gabi. And to be perfectly honest, I would not have gone if nobody had asked me to hear mass.

During mass, the priest spoke of positivity, gratitude and generosity. I was amazed when he started speaking of those virtues. Amazed, because even though I am not the most virtuous human being, I am very much aware of my generally optimistic attitude.

I don’t know why, how and when it started. But ever since I can remember, I’ve always been the type to say that there are other people who suffer more than I do, and for that alone I should be very grateful. Yes, I have my share of problems, but they could not be worse than the struggle of so many others. And always, I know that there is something to be learned from every kind of pain I have to endure.

Last night I realized that I want to work on the third virtue - generosity. I’ve always used lack of time as an excuse to set societal vocation aside. No more excuses though. I am thirty and its so pitiful to even have excuses at this age.

I have no idea where to begin, but when I am old, I want to look back and say I was successful in serving my creator, even if I am not an excellent Catholic.