Thank You Ate Minya

A couple of days before Christmas, Ippo’s yaya, Niña, told me she had to go home to Dumaguete to take care of her sick grandmother for a few weeks. She was to go back to Manila to be with Ippo when school starts, or at least that was the plan. She left on December 24. I was in the office, and wasn’t able to give her my unwrapped Christmas present. When I came home on Christmas day, mama handed over a gift that Niña had left for me. I was touched.

After Christmas, Niña sent me a text message to report that her grandma had passed away, and that she would not be able to return.

Niña, who Ippo fondly calls Ate Minya, is gone and we would probably never get to see her again. That’s sad, but I pray that she will have a happy life.

Ate Minya is Ippo’s third yaya. Before her, we were with Ate Maimai, whom we are still in touch with. Maimai is now employed in SM. I was happy when I heard about her new job and hope that Niña will be as fortunate.

I am rarely able to really handle Ippo on my own. I’ve been very dependent on other people when it comes to taking care of him. Work leaves me too tired for domestic chores, and mama has always taken care of Ippo in the absence of a yaya. From time to time, my Tita Dahl also helps with my only child. I feel guilty most of the time. I work to pay our bills, to send Ippo to school and to make sure he gets all his needs, but I am not the hands on mom that I think I ought to be.

Mama was a housewife when I was growing up, but I don’t have any memories of her giving me a bath or feeding me. Other people took care of me. My Ate Lerma and my Kuya BJ were my primary care givers and I will forever love and remember them.

Last Saturday, mama left me at home with Ippo. It was just for a few hours because she had to pick a birthday gift for one of my aunts. While she was gone, I realized how short tempered I could get with kids. Ippo was being his “makulit” self and I was almost in tears. I’d like to think patience is one of my virtues, and my relatives, friends and colleagues would agree with me on that, but I just don’t have any for children, or at least with my son.

Some time that day, I left Ippo in the room so I could answer the phone, and when I returned, our bed and his toys were snowed in his own mixture of baby powder and lotion. I turn away for a minute, and he’s cut up my magazine pages to pieces. He puts out all his toys and shoes, and insists on trying every shoe with my help. Urgh. In the middle of picking up his toys and trash, he would scream for milk, and for me to make him “eklog” (scrambled eggs). While preparing our meal, he would need me in the bathroom because nature calls (perfect timing). The bathroom scene is the most tormenting. He will not stay still while I wash off his poop. He has to touch his poopy, and I would, of course, shriek in horror. And when we get through the ordeal of getting him into fresh clothes, and I’m just about ready to breathe, I discover that I have some of his poopy in my bare legs. Great.

Oh yes, this is what I’ve been missing because I am a working mom. Now I have so much respect for his yayas and everyone who has taken care of him.

I’ve heard of “terrible two.” I was surprised when Sony told me of “terror three.” What comes next?