On Coffee And Conversations

Coffee and 2 hours of conversation with a good friend, for me, is the most practical way to unwind. It becomes a necessity for me from time to time.

Last night was another one of those sessions with Det. Come to think of it, we’ve never had lunch, dinner or a movie date in a very long time.

I still remember our pizza and pasta afternoons at Piadina, carbs, coffee and cake at Sugarhouse, lunch at Super Bowl and dinner with the Wachowski girls at Teriyaki Boy. Once, when we were still agents, we (Det, Georgie, Ailene and I) all ditched work and headed to Casino Filipino. It was easier then.

Now that our lives are more complicated, coffee will do. At this point in our lives, I don’t think any of us will call in sick for a chance to play on slot machines.

Work has been very demanding lately and I am so eager to relax. I already had my very rare trip to the salon yesterday, and today I am still thinking about going back for a foot spa and a pedicure. The only thing that’s preventing me from actually doing it is the terrible outdoor heat on a Tuesday afternoon.

It might be too soon to ask Det to have coffee again. I know she was beat from training 80 agents when she met up with me yesterday. Judith is not an option since I know she has work tonight. I am in the assumption that my friends are tired, working or hibernating because of depression. With that, I’m contemplating on going to Starbucks alone… or I can watch pinoy soap on local TV or CSI New York on DVD. Anything to get my mind off work!

Written on Feb-20

Exes & Ohs

Meet Darla. She’s Denver’s super ex-girlfriend. She is now married to some South African national. I am writing about her because she just viewed my profile in Friendster. What is wrong with these people? Why don’t they turn anonymous viewing on?

Okay. Guilty. Yes, you can accuse me of doing the same pathetic thing. But at least I have the sense to turn on anonymous viewing, or I check profiles without logging on to my account. That way they’ll never know. Smart, ey?

Anyway, seeing Mrs. South Africa checking me out brings back old memories. According to Denver’s short version of it, a long time ago, she called him before dawn (overseas from Dubai), frantic, asking him why he knocked me up? Friendster was, once again, the culprit. She checked his profile and found out that he was about to be a father.

I don’t get why people are so bothered by things that should no longer affect them. At that time, Mrs. South Africa was still a Miss, however, she was thousands of air miles away from Denver, engaged to the dashing Mr. South Africa (sarcastic), and had absolutely no claiming power over my beau. Crazy, right?


Meet Deedee. She is also one of Denver’s ex-girlfriends (but he denies it from time to time). I also saw her checking me out. She is now pregnant. And I must say that her fiancé is quite a looker (unlike the dashing Mr. South Africa who reminds me of the villain in Lazy Town). He is too good looking for her wide jaw if you want my opinion.


Meet Tiny. Denver’s first love. A Sharon Cuneta look-a-like in her day (according to Denver). No, I did not catch her viewing me in Friendster. She’s the smartest one among the bunch. I did see her blog though, and she had a short entry about Denver’s fatherhood. What’s it to her anyway? But honestly, she seems to be more sensible than most of Denver’s exes. Oh, I’m singling out Deedee too. Call me partial, but my basis for sensible or smart may need validation. I review the profile (or blog) of the character in question, and if there aren’t too many grammatical errors, then they are candidates for sensible and smart.

Okay, so Tiny and Deedee, don’t need to go back to grammar school, unlike Mrs. South Africa, The Whore (I think you know who I’m talking about), and some of his Friendster chicks who in their quarter lives, still need coaching on the proper use of conjunctions.

Examples:

1. I have no interest with your husband.
2. Are you interested of buying a car?
3. Me: Feeling ka. Mag-ano ba kayo ni Denver?
Her: Asked him.

Others: (My Favorite)

noki,
hi hope everything is well...ive just read ur updated
profile...and ano yan may baby ka na ba?
COngRatUlaTioNs!!!im happy for you...me im going
home on september with grant bec were going to
get married already..actually we're already
planniing things and saving up money for the
expenses...i have something to ask you nga
pla...uve been to boracay right?how much did it
cost u for everything like top to bottom from the
transport and accomodation and how long have
you been there? pls tell me the details i need it so
badly....and if its ok for you kung paminsan minsan
ill ask a little favor form you just informations?
thanks!!!congats again send my greetings to ur GF
and soon to be baby with all my love...darla

Enough bashing. I’m already in better spirits just writing all that. What’s my point really? It’s funny how all women have the same bad habits. I just admitted that I am as guilty as them when it comes to checking out Friendster profiles. Why do we keep doing it though? Do we think that we are a threat to each other? Or do we just like comparing ourselves to each other? So many silly questions… What does his ex look like? Is she sexy, barok, miserable, happy, bitter? I’m sure we all have similar questions.

I think it’s part of our human nature to have great interest in the lives of people who shared themselves with the person we love. (Maybe this is not so apparent among the male species. But then they’re too egotistical to admit having interest in their partner’s past.)

Let’s admit it girls. Women are crazy, foolish and naturally chismosa. And it’s perfectly normal.

Post Script

Example 1 is a text message sent to me by an eGS TOIC
Example 2 is also a text message sent to Denver by an eGS TOIC
Example 3 is a text message sent to me by a Teacher (married to a foreigner)
The letter is from Mrs. South Africa (married to a foreigner)

Your Pinoy Soap

It’s Thursday night. Once again I am playing Minesweeper while Mai (Ippo’s yaya) is switching channels in between commercials.

Every night, there’s a battle between channel 7 and channel 2 in our living room. My mom favors Bakekang and the rest of the channel 7 soaps. Mai likes Sana Maulit Muli and that soap with Bea and John Lloyd. If you ask me, I’ve always loved channel 7 since I was a kid. Right now though, I don’t like any of the soaps in Kapuso, so I pay more attention to the television when Kapamilya is on during prime time.

Sana Maulit Muli is on right now. The entire nation, plus the TFC subscribers all over the world just found out that Jasmine and Camille are sisters. Why does this not surprise me? On every Pinoy soap, the protagonist is always secretly related to another character. Just the other day, I learned that John Lloyd and Sam Milby are related (first cousins in Maging Sino Ka Man, if I’m not mistaken).

If the lead is not secretly related to the villain or whoever, there’s always an adoption, or some baby switching going on. This afternoon, I saw channel 7’s newest daytime delight, Princess Charming. Apparently, the ugly Charming is the real daughter of rich Carmina Villaroel. Carmina’s superstitious mother-in-law bought another baby in the hospital (Princess) because a fortune-teller warned her that Charming will bring bad luck to their family. There goes your baby swapping. Goodness, does this happen in real life?

And need I mention the rich girl-poor boy (or poor girl-rich boy) love story? The love story that will always involve a triangle, a quad or partner-swapping. This is just my opinion, but in real life, the rich are rarely in contact with the poor, so where’s the opportunity to fall in love here? And I don’t know of a haciendera who fell madly in love with her gardener in my circle. I think it would be more real to write a story about a young Filipina who becomes infatuated with an American correspondent or a “chat-mate.”

Soap plots are just so predictable. I’m sure the producers do research and hire talented writers. They must already know that they are presenting the same dish over and over again. They seem to be following a formula to ensure viewer patronage. I just wish that they could be bolder by trying out something more realistic. Viewers just might enjoy it. If they’re worried that viewers won’t buy it, then they should get a power house cast. After all, Pinoys are known to be smitten by stars. That should influence their ratings.

I’m only asking for them to give the sensible Pinoy a break and make better plots.

Written on Feb-8

Bianca, Bakekang, Alessandra And Renée

I don’t speak all that well, but I just have to comment on the Filipino soap actor’s diction.

As I was playing Minesweeper tonight, I could hear Sana Maulit Muli on tv. I was prompted to direct my eyes onto the screen when I heard one of the female characters (Bianca) deliver her line. “…Yur gads geef to weemehn.” I was surprised and disappointed.

I’m not a regular viewer of this soap but I’ve seen snippets of it because it’s always on our living room tv when I’m getting ready for work. Anyway, my reaction is such because I didn’t expect that kind of diction from a face like Bianca’s. Call me biased, but I happen to think that she has an elitist’s face. She looks so chic and I just couldn’t believe those words were coming out of her mouth. Oh, and that wasn’t the only horrific line I heard. She also said “eets nat my beesnehs.”

Here’s my two cents. People in the entertainment business should invest in personality development, particularly in communication skills. I wouldn’t expect so much from Bakekang or any jologs role but if the use of English language is necessary, then diction training is a must.

Suddenly, the faces of the de Rossi sisters flash on me. Have you seen Alessandra de Rossi’s sanitary napkin commercial? I can’t quite remember the napkin brand but I can’t forget the weird way she pronounces “pad.” It almost sounds like “pod.” I’m not attempting to bash her. I happen to admire her candidness. Anyway, I don’t have any cruel intentions. This is supposed to be constructive criticism.

Going back to the soap. It seems so pretentious when a sophisticated character speaks like she’s from the slums. It’s as pathetic as seeing your typical protagonist wearing braces when she is supposed to be poor and pitied.

There is one thing I admire among Hollywood actors (not all of course). I see that they put so much effort to prepare for their roles. I’m sure you are as amazed to see actors fatten up or shed pounds to fit their roles. Case in point, Renée Zellweger in Bridget Jones’s Diary, Renée Zellweger in Chicago and Renée Zellweger in Bridget Jones: The Edge of Reason. Renée had to put on almost 30 pounds for both servings of Bridget Jones (from a size 6 to a size 14). She lost all of the weight after filming. Notice how slim and buffed up she was for Chicago? And with her British accent as Bridget Jones, could you tell she’s from Texas?

All I’m saying is that I think it would be great if Filipino actors would take their jobs seriously.

I just heard Glydel Mercado say “geeb me anader chance.” Enough said.

Sunday Plans

They were supposed to spend Sunday together.

She took a leave from work and waited for him. At 2:00PM he wasn’t there. At 6:00PM he wasn’t there yet. At 8:00PM she was upset and went out to meet a friend who was there for her in such short notice.

He was asleep the entire day.

At 8:12PM he sent her a message and said “I’m sorry, I’ll go home now.” At 9:47PM he said that his mom wouldn’t let him leave, but he will come home. At 11:21PM he was still where he had been the last 24 hours. His mother’s house.

She arrived home at 10:30PM. She finally opened the door to him before 1:00AM. What else was left to do? She had wasted her leave. She had not had any sleep since coming home from the previous day’s shift.

For the remaining hours, he made her cry and made her laugh. He made breakfast. They ate. She went to sleep right after.

That was how they spent Monday morning.

Post Script

It is reassuring to know that you have someone who will be there for you right when you need her. Thanks Det for running out of the house on a Sunday evening to grab coffee with me. I know you probably thought it was one big emergency, but no. It’s just one of those days when you feel like screaming because things of significance to you are deemed insignificant by no less than the person you love most. Don’t worry, were okay. I’m just pissed (still).

My good friend Det who cannot update her blog because she forgot her password for the second time.

Whacked But Happy

Friday has got to be the most stressful day of the week for me at work. Actually, it’s Friday night and Saturday morning. It’s my first day back from my days off, and the moment I sit in front of my workstation, I am practically useless to my team until the end of the shift.

First thing I do is sort through email that I received during my rest days. This can take a while since a lot of those dreaded email are To Dos or updates for immediate cascade. Apart from my daily tasks as a Team Lead, Friday night until Saturday morning is spent collecting weekly and month to date scores to be presented in our weekly shift meeting. The meeting is always at 5:00AM, Saturday.

My shift is from 10:30PM to 7:30AM. I logged out at around 10:15AM today. It’s not unusual for me to stick around after all my team members have gone off. After the long shift meeting, I have to be back at my workstation to complete all the deliverables I wasn’t able to work on because of the prep for the meeting, and the actual meeting.

I just have to mention that I was in the office since around 6:45PM last night. I’m no saint. I didn’t start working when I got to the office. Normally, I would be at home reading, typing, playing QuadraPop or WTA Tour on my Sony Ericsson mobile phone, just doing anything that will tire my eyes until I fall asleep. But last night was a special case. Denver emailed me late afternoon, pissed at the whole world. My wifely instincts urged me to get up and come to his rescue.

As promised, I was there before his lunch hour. I surprised him with his favorite chocolate mousse and got us both Jollibee Value Meals. It may not seem much but I know I was able to give him some comfort in one of the worst days in his career.

I wasn’t able to get a minute’s sleep, I reprimanded the Jollibee food attendant for giving me chicken breast, I had nothing to eat in my own lunch hour, my team must absolutely think I am worthless, I am exhausted and starving right now, but I say it was all worth it. In my husband’s dilemma, I found a good opportunity for us to connect. Stars for me! He always complains about me being mostly apathetic when he has issues.

I am so whacked, but I’m just so happy to cheer him up.

The Story Of Us

I saw Michelle Pfeiffer and Bruce Willis’ The Story of Us twice yesterday. It’s a good thing I was alone the first time I watched it. My eyes stung by the end of the movie because I kept crying each time one of the main characters cried over their fucked up marriage.

It’s weird and comforting to see a glimpse of my relationship in this movie. I know it’s just a film, but hey, surely they draw this stuff from real life right?

The female character is generally exhausted from juggling with work, kids, a husband and keeping house. She feels that she has to follow a timetable in order to accomplish the one thousand tasks that need to be done. In the process of being a mother and wife, she lost her old, fun self. She forgot to be affectionate and in many ways failed to address the needs of her husband.

The male character is too spontaneous. Although well meaning, his behavior seems to be often in the way of getting things done. He longs for the spark that they used to have, but at one point ends up seeking another woman to have “someone to talk to.”

To stop the cycle of fighting over the same shit, the couple both retreated in silence and eventually decided to separate.

One good realization after watching this film is that it’s never the fault of just one person. It may be hard to admit, but I know I made some mistakes too.

As the other half in a relationship, I often see things just my way. As human beings, very rarely do we see things from another person’s eyes.

Maybe, from time to time, I should make an effort to place myself in the other person’s shoes. How would I want to be treated? How would I want my partner to react to my tantrums? For quite some time, I have always seen my way as the only way. I’m sure this is one thing that any partner would hate. Of course, this goes without saying that it should work both ways.

When Denver came home from work, I watched it with him again. As I expected, he also saw “us.” From time to time he would glance at me, or let me know that I behave exactly like Michelle. I didn’t cry the second time I saw it.

I don’t recommend the movie to everyone. Singletons may not enjoy it. I just appreciate it so much because it makes me hopeful about my “marriage.” The ups still outweigh the downs, and for that I choose to stay.

Downtime

It is the eve of the love month. Once again, I find myself alone in Starbucks Silver City. I have no complaints about the fact that I am by myself. These are quiet moments that I actually enjoy.

Airborne Access conked out on me after around 15 minutes of worthless browsing. Worthless, because there was really nothing new to see. Most of my good friends seem to have very little time left for blogging. Third seems to be the only one who regularly posts new stuff, and I already read his last entry around three times today.

Why am I so excited to see excerpts of other people's lives? I'm not sure. I guess I am naturally curious when it comes to people's experiences. I am not like others who can go on all day surfing sites in search of gizmos and gadgets. I prefer viewing blogs. Somehow, it makes me feel real to read about how other people feel. They make me seem normal. Today is my rest day. After bringing Denver to work, I ran off to SM Hypermarket to pay my darned Meralco and water bills. I picked up some groceries before heading home and then took Ippo to the office day care late afternoon so he could have all the running space that he wants. He can now confidently walk up the slide on his own. Yup, he climbs up the slide. He doesn't actually slide on it. Too bad it was too damn cold in the day care. We would have stayed longer had we brought blankets.

When I couldn't take the smell of shit on Ippo’s pants any longer, I took him and his yaya home and went straight here to have the last two stickers affixed on my second Starbucks Christmas Traditions Card.

I've no plans of using two planners this year. In fact, my first planner is rotting inside my closet. The second planner is a gift for my Tita Dahl who specifically asked for a Starbucks Planner. I offered her a Gonuts Doughnuts Planner which I could have purchased for less than P300, but she won’t have it. Anyway, I am happy to give her what she asked for, even if I look rather silly to be alone with two drinks on my table. I got here at around 11:00PM and had only until midnight to fill the card. The queue was wild as usual, today being the last day of obtaining stickers. I didn't want to take a chance, so I went ahead and ordered one tall hot mocha and one grande iced mocha for myself. I must look like I've been stood up by my date or something.

My Tita Dahl is extra special. I never asked her to, but she took care of me and my son from the time I was in the hospital, until Ippo was around two weeks old. I was probably around 175lbs and couldn't sit nor stand on my own. I had a fresh cut and she was with me on every trip to the bathroom and even helped me put on my knickers. I'm sure she had a hard time but she did it anyway. Nobody else has ever done that for me, and for that I am forever grateful to her.

I am excited to see the look on her face when I hand over the planner to her.

Written on Jan-31