Wisdom

I love it when it rains. Typhoons and flash floods don't count, of course. I just like listening to raindrops and seeing how it's exceptionally dark outside when the sun should be scorching. If I lived in the countryside, and weren't scared of lightning, I'd probably stay outdoors on a rainy day.

Today I am at work waiting for Denver to get off from his team meeting. I don't mind being held up since it's my day off tomorrow, plus, I am actually enjoying the pitter-patter on the window pane.

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I found myself reading up on karma earlier. Sometime this week, I eavesdropped on some interesting thoughts about attracting positive and negative experiences. I suddenly remembered insights on energy from when I was reading The Celestine Prophecy back in college.

It wasn't so difficult for me to re-embrace the concept of karma. It simply tells us that if we send out something positive, we attract positive experiences. And when we harbor negativity, we attract negative experiences.

In the midst of confusion and mixed emotions, the concept of karma gives me some hope. It makes me feel as though I can remove all my pain by learning to let go of all the negative feelings I've been nursing.

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It's starting to clear up. Although I enjoyed the rain, I guess it had to stop for a good reason.

Parody

I’m beginning to have second thoughts about passing off on our company’s next Leadership Convention. I usually welcome these events, but I developed a certain allergy to it since the last Lead-Con.

You see, my husband’s ex-mistress is an esteemed Team Leader from one of our sites. As such, this Lead-Con would be a reunion of sorts for the two of us. Bleah.

Let’s just say that after the last Lead-Con, I wanted to admit myself to a hospital because of hypertension.

After getting caught cheating on her boyfriend with my husband, the piece of trash had the audacity to strut beside me. And I swear that if I didn’t value my job, I would have slit her throat right then and there.

So, this thing is two days away and I still don’t know what to do. If I go, I know I will feel so damaged again.

One of my bosses called me the other day to ask why I am the only TL in our site who did not accept the invitation. I told her the truth. She didn’t want to accept my shallow reason and was pushing me to go. She thinks I shouldn’t miss out on the opportunity to be inspired by Jaime Augusto Zobel de Ayala II. I honestly want to go, but what can I do? I’m still so damn affected. All I want is to never see her again. Earth, please swallow her now.

I can’t believe I don’t have the strength to face that slut. And I thought I had toughened up.

Wishful Thinking

Very recently, one of my colleagues educated me on Pag-ibig Fund, bank housing loans and good property deals in Pasig City. On Monday, Denver and I visited Riverfront by DMCI. The unit we checked was very small, but we both loved the location and amenities. We could probably get a unit if we forced it, but then we would both have to live cheap until our fifties. A tiny 3 bedroom unit is around 3 and a half million in cash. If you add the 15 year interest through financing, the cost becomes ridiculously crazy for people in our income bracket.

Like I said, Denver and I could force it, but that means goodbye to Starbucks for the next 15 to 20 years, and possibly even goodbye to Mcdonald's value meals. We would probably have to live on tuyo and kangkong everyday. Not that tuyo is bad, but hey, that's still 15 years!

Anyway, it just makes me wonder how other people do it. Of course, this strikes out irresponsible dick-heads born with money, young athletes and instant celebrities. What I mean are other ordinary people like me. My colleague is younger than me, and has held a supervisory position for less than a year, but here he is scouting properties and intending to actually obtain one this year. Yeah, yeah, so he's single and doesn't have the same financial responsibilities, but still, I can't help but admire people like him.

It would be so great to be able to afford our own home here in the Philippines without having to slave away overseas. I wonder if we'd have to get to that point. Sigh. I want a condo, damn it.

Ten Inches

I don't mean to bore you with my wellness talk but it's just been my focus for the past few weeks. I quit my no-rice diet on the third day. But wait! Before you shake your head in disapproval, let me tell you what I've been stuffing myself with for the past week. Well, I've been eating vegetables. For the first time in my life, I am eating greens like it were normal for me. That's everyday for the last seven days.

For those of you who do not know me, my regular diet consists of anything smothered in butter or fried in oil. I am no fan of ulam with sarsa or sabaw, except if it's Kare-kare or my mom's La Oya. I just like fried steak (not even grilled), pork, hotdog and eggs. No fish, no veggies. I only eat fish if it's canned and swimming in oil and preservatives, filleted (especially if it's from Mcdonald's), or if it's sashimi or in sushi. I will eat veggies in the form of french fries, onion rings, and occasionally, gourmet salad. I almost never eat veggies at home, except for the squash in Pinakbet, onions in Bistek Pinoy, my mashed potato recipe (does that count?), frozen/mixed corn, carrots and green peas (I throw away the peas though), tortang talong, and probably a few more not-very-healthy vegetable dishes. I don't eat healthy at all. I love fat. You are what you eat, huh? Even my tuna omelet has lots of oil, butter, milk and cheese.

I know that I am a good (and young) candidate for heart disease or cancer, especially with my old habits – tobacco smoking, alcohol drinking, no fruits, no veggies, all fried diet, very little water. This is the year when I attempt to change all that by adapting a new lifestyle.

I still have a lot of inches to get rid of (around ten on my waist alone). I don't think I've lost any weight at all (huhuhu). It's been a month since I enrolled in Fitness First. But guess what? Those chicks that I used to envy? I can outrun them now. Normally I alternate 2 minutes of walking with 3 minutes of jogging, until I complete 30 minutes on the treadmill. On Wednesday, I walked for 2 minutes and jogged for 23 minutes non-stop. Yesterday I did 2 sets of 25 minutes (non-stop jogging). Who would have thought? I can't wait to see the results. I hope that my new plan proves to be effective.