Denver appears to be back to normal. Normal being his old sweet self. We have not had a single argument for almost two weeks now. I hate to think that this is too good to be true.
He wrote me a few lines through Yahoo! Greetings last week. “I’m sorry for being such an idiot and a jerk most of the time.” I don’t remember ever hearing anything more honest than this from him. Most of the time, I get hollow promises or meaningless adoration. His admission of his being an idiot and a jerk actually sound better than everything else I have heard from him. Maybe it’s because I can feel the truth behind the words.
Yes, we are okay now, but the depression has not completely abandoned me. I wonder if there really is a surgical procedure that will allow the removal of selected awful memories from my cerebrum. That would be such a joy. Reminds me that I should watch Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. I always see bits of it on cable. Now is a good time to see the entire film. It might inspire me.
Still walking in the fields with my eyes blindfolded. Still wondering what the future holds for him and me. Sometimes I am happy. Other days, I have Diphenhydramine HCI as my ally. Drowning myself to sleep is better than being awake and torturing myself with evil thoughts or dwelling on painful memories.
He wrote me a few lines through Yahoo! Greetings last week. “I’m sorry for being such an idiot and a jerk most of the time.” I don’t remember ever hearing anything more honest than this from him. Most of the time, I get hollow promises or meaningless adoration. His admission of his being an idiot and a jerk actually sound better than everything else I have heard from him. Maybe it’s because I can feel the truth behind the words.
Yes, we are okay now, but the depression has not completely abandoned me. I wonder if there really is a surgical procedure that will allow the removal of selected awful memories from my cerebrum. That would be such a joy. Reminds me that I should watch Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. I always see bits of it on cable. Now is a good time to see the entire film. It might inspire me.
Still walking in the fields with my eyes blindfolded. Still wondering what the future holds for him and me. Sometimes I am happy. Other days, I have Diphenhydramine HCI as my ally. Drowning myself to sleep is better than being awake and torturing myself with evil thoughts or dwelling on painful memories.
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