Random Thoughts

I just found out that my team has to work on both Christmas and New Year’s Eve. Bugger!

Oh well, at least I don’t have to argue with Denver about where we are spending the holidays. The last time it came up, I told him he can spend Christmas with his family, and I’ll spend it with mine. Of course I didn’t want to have it that way. Ippo and I are supposed to be his family, but I guess he doesn’t realize that yet.

I wonder when he is ever going to grow up? I once told him not to force himself to grow up. I still feel the same way. I don’t want to force him into becoming someone he is not. But I am getting tired of waiting. So I guess I should just stop waiting and come to terms with the reality that he may never grow up.

I can’t wait to find out what’s going to happen in my future. I used to daydream about us (Denver, Ippo and I) migrating to the U.S. and living in our very own home. I have a feeling its going to be just me and my son. I’m always wondering when we (Denver and I) will decide to end it all.

It’s almost Christmas. I got a lovely book from my brother’s girlfriend - The Undomestic Goddess by Sophie Kinsella. I can’t wait to finish it. I’m already halfway through it. I started reading this noon and would have been done if I didn’t have work tonight. She’s such a darling for thinking about me. I am definitely getting her something for Christmas. I am really touched because I know she doesn’t earn much from her current job.

On my break, I went to Starbucks to spend my P500 Gift Certificate. The team had our Kris Kringle last Tuesday. One of the items on my wish list is a Starbucks Tumbler. If one of my girls had picked my codename, I’m sure I would have gotten the exact tumbler I described. Nevertheless, I am really happy with the G.C. care of JP. Good thing Starbucks Eastwood had the “Lucy Fuchsia” I wanted. It was not in stock for a couple of weeks.

Tonight I got an overseas call from my cousin Sony. She’s wiring money for Ippo and needed Denver’s BPI account. She told me about wanting to live here in the Philippines and her hopes of having a baby soon. She and her husband just got a P5 million condo in Ortigas. It’s nice to see a young couple so full of optimism and actually living their dreams. She doesn’t know the dirt about Denver and me, so every time she asks how I am I just say “ganun pa rin.”

When I am alone and in prayer, I don’t ask for much anymore. I hate to admit that I am currently unhappy with my relationship. But I still have so much to be thankful for. I have my son and my mom, my brother just graduated from the U.S. Air Force, I am still employed, I can still foot the bills. I stopped praying for God to help Denver and I sort things out. I am unhappy with my relationship with Denver, but I am thankful for everything else in my life.