A Time To Let Go

Mama and mommy (my mom’s sister) recently brought up a sensitive issue. They said that they’ve been thinking about it for years. Mommy suggested it’s time we put papa in his rightful place.

We’ve kept papa’s ashes at home since he died in 2000. It’s a comfort knowing that he’s just with us. I didn’t know that this concerned some of our relatives. One of mama’s older cousins said that it’s time for us to let go. I never thought about it that way, but now that it’s been brought up, I realize that it does make sense. Rambi and I still find it difficult to let go.

Yesterday, I cried in the car when Denver told me that now’s a good time to let papa rest. He’s right.

My father’s dreams for us have been realized. Rambi has two stripes in the Air Force. Papa has always wanted to have a child in the Army, Navy or Air Force. Nobody had to force Rambi to enlist. He just did it because he knew it would make our father proud.

He also just got a Toyota Celica that is one of my dad’s favorite cars. If I am not mistaken, he got that too because he knows papa likes it.

He also changed his last name back to Bernabe. He used his adoptive mom’s name when he migrated to the U.S. in 2005. When he was asked if he wanted to change his name, he said yes so he could use my father’s last name. When mama asked him why, he said he wanted his children to carry our family name.

As for me, I may not have done much, but I know he’s happy that I have a son and a job to support us. I know he was always worried that I wouldn’t be able to survive because I was spoiled. I think he would be proud to see that I've become independent.

Maybe it is time to let him rest.

We’ve decided on bringing him to a Columbarium within the Shrine of St. Thérèse. We just have to wait for Rambi to come home next year. I pray that papa didn’t have to suffer in all the years that we kept him with us.

We’ll let you go very soon pa.